The death of a loved one is celebrated quite differently in diverse cultures. Funeral customs are definitely strange to Western visitors to Vietnam. And there’s no better place to find out than when your next door neighbour dies unexpectedly or expectedly.
In this instance it seems an unexpected passing away. Granny was only 68 and she died at 2.00am. By mid morning the funeral preparations had started and the first signs of what was to come were to be heard around the area.
In the alley tables had been set up with a shade cloth draped from a building to a building on the other side of the alley. The band arrived and the shrine had been set up showing a picture of the person who had died. Incense burning and flowers, offerings all made a display.
In terms of unexpected, the immediate family only started wearing their white head scarfs by lunchtime. But the sound system had been set up and the band was playing well before then. And played for most of the day. Only to be interrupted by the odd breather or refreshment. A singer contributed his bit too on occasion.
One thing is for sure, the music played at these events is totally suited for a funeral. For a somewhat lengthy but very interesting podcast on this music go here. Lament, dirge, painful are words that one would associate with it. There is no mistaking that this is a sad happening. And it’s also not a shame to cry loudly and with passion. And a further article may be found here.
How different it is in places such as England or Germany where the less noise the more dignified the funeral is deemed to be. Church music is played that soothes the people attending and allows them to blank out any feelings. And the quicker it’s over the better.
Not here. This music will continue until the procession leaves the house scheduled in this instance for the next morning. And in fact the lament can continue for up to three days. It probably depends on how far relatives and friends need to travel in order to pay their last respects.
There is no way that one can ignore this rite of passage if one lives in the area. You have to walk through the area on your way to anywhere. There is no getting around bowing ones head and looking respectful. A bunch of white flowers or the burning of incense should have been undertaken too.
Death becomes a communal affair with all parties contributing their sorrow and sympathy. It’s a part of Asia and in this case Vietnam more specifically that is precious. The woman next door had lived with the extended family as is custom.
Her many friends that came to keep the mourners company would have been local too and the people who brought their own small chairs and lined the adjoining alleys would have all known the deceased and each other.
It’s something the big city life in the West has lost – that sense of community where people from your immediate environment know you and appreciate your existence. It’s a good thing that has been lost.
The post A send off with a difference appeared first on .
